What the hell should I do! Where in the World should I go to get my brain back!

God just do something , I am so damn sick of everything!

I wish to write but I am unable to decide what,

Maybe I should get myself so engaged with my books that I would have no time left for anything else, the lesser I think the better it would be for me. I don't know but I just don't wish to freak myself out and once again go back in the condition I was in months back. It was shattering and with lots of difficulties I have gathered myself together and I just want to engross myself somewhere so that I would keep all troubles out of my head and my life. I had clicked few pics for today but maybe this is not the right time as I feel. Maybe in my next post I will be better and calm till then everyone

Take Care and Be Happy!

~ Crazy Love ~

I had been thinking lately what to write and finally I found a sweet corner of my life which wasn't told yet, my crazy stupid love crushes*Grin*. Since my Childhood I have come across many guys and interestingly I have been friends with more of the boys as compared to girls as I found them to be better friends ( Totally My opinion! ). So I have decided to tell about my crushes one by one since the very beginning of my life. This is going to be really interesting!

My first crush since my childhood was a guy elder to me ( I am struggling within my mind to name him here or not! ). Lets talk about him by naming him as 'R' ( The initial of his name. ). So that time I was about three and a half years old ( Cheeky! ) and I used to go school with him and his elder brother ( Who too was Handsome! ). I was a little kid that time and used to be the favorite of all the aunties in my apartment. I used to spend half of my day at his home as aunt loved me a lot and used to keep me at her home only. I was a really shy kid that time but I found him very cute ( I feel like blushing at my crazy love now! ).  That was my first crush on a guy which is still on ( How shameless of me! ). He stayed with me or rather in my apartment for4-5 years and then his father got transferred and he went away to a new place ( I had felt so sad that time! ). I had never thought I would be seeing him again but luckily with help of ORKUT we found each other and came in contact with each other once again ( And I was so happy! ). And not just chatting he visited my home with his family a year back! ( I was stunned that day! ) That day was amazing and I sat like a silly spellbound girl in front of him the entire time he was there and to be true he has grown even more cuter and handsome in these years! *Grin* After he had left that day I was jumping like a idiotic bunny on the road that we met and we shook hands! ( I still wonder what my Angel was thinking and feeling that moment when I was jumping and hopping in front of him like idiots for meeting my Crazy Crush! ). It was wonderful to meet him after such a long time and we are in contact with each other and hopefully will always be. 

This was my First Crazy Crush story which is really Cute! And it was wonderful recalling all those moments back. This was my First story which will be followed with few more in my upcoming posts. 

Now this is what I wore for a random shopping day.

 This is one of my favorite sweatshirt which has story in its purchase. *Grin*

Well by this my post comes to an end and I'll be back very soon with a new one.

And my Angel I really wish to tell you

I miss you!

A Busy schedule these days kept me off from my photo-shoot but I'll start with it very quickly *Grin*. College schedules and practicals made my week hectic accompanied with watching movies everyday ( I so damn Love watching Movies! )

Lately I have been hearing a song named 'Emptiness' by Late Rohan Rathore, a student from IIT ( Indian Institute of Technology ) Guwahati ( A place in India ) who died due to Blood Cancer. This song made me wonder How Painful it would be for a person to realize that every passing day could be his Last Day in this World, isn't the knowledge of this fact equivalent to Death? Its really easy to say that I am not afraid of Death but only few people get to know how difficult it is to live with the knowledge that you are about to go far far away from the company of people you love for no fault of yours. And it hurts the most when someone denies your Love because of the fact that you are just a guest for few more days in this World! How can someone be so Stone-hearted! It saddens me only by thinking the situation of such person , I may not be able to bear this fact with a strong will. When your close ones abandon you for a single day you feel so denied so lost and so hurt, only this fact makes us realize how damn Strong-hearted those people are who live with the knowledge of this fact smiling all the time!

It is said few people hide their tears behind their smile for some reasons, but these people constantly smile to hide their deep sorrows behind it and keep their hurt within them. It is so so tough to live such a life!

Lyrics of the Heart-touching song 'Emptiness' :

Oh love of mine..

with a song and a whine..

You’re harsh and divine..

like truths and a lie..

but the tale end is not here..

I have nothing to fear..

for my love is yell of giving and hold on…

in the bright emptiness..

in a room full of it..

is the cruel mistress ho ho o…

I feel the sunrise..

that nest all hollowness..

for i have the way to go.. not come…

And i feel so lonely yea..

There’s a better place from this emptiness..

And i’m so lonely yea..

There’s a better please from this emptiness.

Tune mere jaana..

Kabhi nahi jana..

Ishq mera dard mera.. haaye…

Tune mere jaana..

Kabhi nahi jana..

Ishq mera dard mera …

Aashiq teraaa..

Bheed mein khoya rehta hai..

Jaane jahaan a..

Puchho toh itna kehta hai..

And i feel so lonely yea..

There’s a better place from  this emptiness..

And i’m so lonely yea..

There’s a better please from this emptiness.

The Hindi part of the Song ( Highlighted in Purple ) is the most touching part of this song.

I heartily salute to the spirit of all such people and I wish God never brings someone to this stage.

God Bless Everyone!

~ Feeling Blue ~

It was a wonderful day today with two of my Angels, it was like good old days were back in my life once again! I am simply loving this year as it is gifting me lots and lots of precious moments with people I love. My 'Big Proposal' idea is yet to go but I'll be waiting for that day *Grin*. This day was indeed very special with special people around me, who made me smile heartily once again! And Mother of my second Angel made me enjoy my day too, she is an absolute 'Super-momma'!

I wish I had a mother like her too..

My angel gifted me ear-rings which are in my ear-piercing right now. it is just too adorable and damn special! I hope you come back soon my angel, I'll miss you a lot. And my third Angel thank you too for making me feel special and always being there on my side. I love you!

Now on this very special day I chose to wear Blue, with a feeling of blue within me.

* I love the touch of Sunlight on my body, its just too soothing and purifying. *

My friends call me alien as I love being in the sunlight 24*7, boys say I am totally opposite to the typical girls in this case as girls usually avoid sunlight keeping in mind their complexion and stuff. Perhaps I a unique girl! *Grin*

* I love the shade of grey, along with simplicity it has classiness in it! Simplicity is the thing which makes a person different from others, plain yet so stylish! *

My last click for the post. 

I loved the day and I love the people I was with.

Thank you God!

~ Numb Purple ~

Purple is the shade we see when a part of our body gets numb in the freezing winter so I define purple as the shade of numbness! Along with Numbness Purple is the shade always in and it helps a lot in making guys lose their senses. *Wink*

Had my college today, so this is what I wore ( My Favorite Street style! ) for my college day:

* Eyes say it all! A naughty smile makes you adorable along with imparting innocence to your face. *

* Street style is so damn cool, you can wear the loosest clothes and still appear stylish! *

* Love is a beautiful thing! And as everything has two aspects so does love, it can be painful at time but it never returns unanswered if it is true. *

Finally a last click for my post in my favorite Canvas!

Feedbacks are always welcome. Till my next post,

Rock on!

~ Shades of Rainbow ~

Today a thought stroke my mind that I should mix my love for Literature with my freakiness for Fashion, so here I am working on my thought *Grin*. 

Hope my readers will like this.

This is what I wore today in keeping in mind the chilling weather at my place.

* Every color is unique within itself and every color completes the other one. Rainbow would be so incomplete if it would miss some of its colors and so would our life be. A beautiful evening with these beautiful colors in my life. *

* Eyes are the Storehouse of emotions, things we are unable to say in terms of words can be seen and understood through our eyes. Perhaps thats why people say ' Beauty lies in the Eyes of the viewer'. *

* A smile can brighten up your day! This World looks even more beautiful behind a smile. Smile colors our lives. *

* Seduction with a flirty smile is the best weapon of a girl! *Wink* *

I couldn't choose a better dress-up then a colorful one for my first post with a new start!

I hope these Rainbow colors might brighten up the day of my readers.

This was my post for the day, I hope my readers will like this!

Have a Nice Day!

How desperately I wish today that I had my baby my 'Nottiee' with me today! *Sad*

I just hate the fact that dad took him to his place, away from me.

His company was the bestest company for me, in which I found my true bliss and an escape from all the worries and troubles! Playing with him used to be the most wonderful moment to me and I cherish all those moments with him and miss him just so damn much!

My Baby I really wish you were here with me to free me from all my worries and troubles and sooth my mind. I miss your sound, your biting and wrapping you up while sleeping. How I wish I could bring you back here, with me.

I really miss you a lot!

After a long time, today I went to see my nephew and niece ( I love the way they call me 'Mausi'. )

It was quite a nice feeling to meet my little nephew and niece after such a long time, although my favorite niece wasn't there and I really missed her company and her cute dialogues and her sitting in my lap, but it was fun to be around kids.

One real funny thing about my nephew was, when I asked him to give a pose with me for a picture, he went for the kissing pose! lol ! I couldn't help but give the pose with him and ultimately we clicked a picture with him kissing on my cheeks. I enjoyed my day with my the little kids playing Hide and Seek and passing game. My Niece complimented me that she loves playing with me 'cause I tell new games to her and explain them too well such that she remembers it. I felt really good that instant, as there are very few people who like me for who I am , for the others I am just a nuisance causing troubles in some way or the other!

Well coming back to the day, I got many sweet little compliments today which were really adorable and cute. After that I went shopping after a long time but couldn't even do that properly for that was causing trouble to few people, so I have decided maybe I'll shop for myself once I have enough money. I am yet to try few more things ,actually a lot more things its just that shopping stuff is remaining which needs to be completed and hopefully it will be completed soon. It was a nice day today with the kids And,

Thank you God for the wonderful time!

I truly need to calm my mind for a few days!

I need a break from EVERYTHING now for some time!

God help me with this Please.

Finally here I am with a new design for my Blog *Grin* 

( It appears really tough to me to choose a background for my Blog! ).

Nostalgia, defined as a sense of longing for the Past ( Past Allures! ), its something that I keep experiencing quite often. Its so stupid of us humans to firstly wish to grow up and move forward in Life and then to long for the Past! Past in some way or the other always remains in our memory no matter how forward you move in your life. Past is an inseparable part of our life which remains with us throughout our life, be it good or bad.

Often sitting idly in the sunshine I think about my past, things I have gained, things I have lost during the course of life. But there comes an instant followed by a gentle breeze in the bright sun when I find myself transferred back to the past ( Sort of Hallucination ). The memory is of my Grandma's house during my childhood when a similar breeze was blowing in the bright sun and I was collecting beans from the creeper to play. I can recall each and everything exactly as it was that instant, the happiness I felt while collecting beans to play and my cute little dress. It gladdens me to recall how happy a bean could make me in that part of my life, something I keep finding today but do not get easily. Joy was a memorable part of my childhood which I can never forget. Love was the best part of my childhood, which I received in abundance from my Parents,other Family members and the people who knew me. Its something I miss badly today, being the cute little kid of the family, being loved by everyone and all those joyful moments.

And most of all being the daughter of my Dad and the best relation with him. 

Something weird about this recalling thing is that I always experience this thing during that particular flow of breeze and get lost for few minutes. I like recalling my past but it is always followed with a deep hurt for what my relations used to be and what they are today. Trying to believe,

Time heals every wound!

Something I every time forget to correct, the time below my post!

Every time I forget to correct it and finally I have recalled it so I decided to correct it right now before it slips off my mind *Grin*.

The time is right now! :D

I had the most Beautiful and amazing day of my Year today!

This year couldn't have a better start than the company of my Second Angel for an entire day. Those moments with her, despite the chilling winter, my examination stress and my swinging moods, felt like a Wonderful Bliss to me, the moments which I wanted to feel and experience the rest of my life. I had never experienced tears of joy before in my life and today it just overwhelmed me and made me feel the joy hidden in those tears, in real terms those tears are happiness falling out of the eyes. I found myself smiling so Heartily after such a long time and all because of the Person I was with.

I wish I could tell her in words how damn much I love her and how wonderful and Special those moments are for me, how blissful and soothing that touch appears to me, how content I feel when I see her smiling and Happy and how sad I feel when she has to go. These moments are like the shells hiding my happiness in them. I just want you to know that I love you the most in this World and I always need you in my life. Just be with me always please.

Thank you God for this Wonderful Day!

Since past few days I am experiencing quick mood swings, its something like I am not able to keep my self cheered up for a long time, for a reason I am not able to understand.

I laugh but it doesn't come from the Heart,

I have people around me but I feel alone,

I want to but I am unable to live for others,

I look around and get sad for the reason I am here,

I want to chase my dreams but I get disheartened.

Its like I can't find anything to cheer myself up heartily, its like I need something which I don't know.

Past memories hurt me, last time this moment I had few Special people in my life who I had thought would stand by me but they didn't. I had Dreams , I have Dreams but I am afraid to Dream further for it never comes true in my case.

Should my Dreams come to an end for the sake of my Heart?

As I said in my last Post that my list was missing many a things yet, I lately recalled few ( Rather more than a few  ) of them, so here I am back with my list!

11. Visit Pubs and Discos around my place. ( Adult Girl! *Grin* )

12. Learn various Dance Forms. ( Street Dance in particular! )

13. Visit Dubai, place of Dawood.

14. Gain some weight! ( Flesh on my Bones as my Friends would say. )

15. Continue with my cooking and proceed further with it.

16. Try being less of a 'Troublemaker'!

17. Trying Being Girlish! ( Thats not me *Wink* )

18. Expand my Wardrobe Collection and renew my style statement with something Fresh and New.

19. Be a Party Animal.

20. Grow Up! ... No Way! Remain as I am ( Growing more Childish would do too *Grin* )

21. Drive Myself ( A Sexy Car I wish! )

  

And adding to all these comes one more wish , that is

To Live for Myself!

A new Year, a new and Fresh Beginning!

Year 2010 had screwed my life to the extreme and I am glad this year came to an end and hopefully my unlucky time too will. I welcome this year with a smile on my face and a thought that 

'Yes I want to live my life!'. 

New year reminds of various resolutions taken up by people all around the World, some fulfilled some unfulfilled. I haven't yet taken any resolution throughout these eighteen years of my life but today I have few Dreams and Wishes in my Heart which I wish to fulfill in my lifetime, in the upcoming years of my life. My wish-list is followed below :

1. Getting Drunk! ( I Heartily wish to enjoy the liberty of being an Adult! *Grin* )

2. Continue with my Writing and get my article printed in some magazine and news paper.

3. Spend few years of my life in a foreign and Open-hearted country. ( Only the thought of same      sends me to wonderland! )

4. Walk down the Ramp of the Capital of Fashion, PARIS! ( I Love Ramps and Catwalks, Simply love it! )

5. Go Goa! ( I desperately want to go there! )

6. See Disneyland. ( Have heard a lot about the place.)

7. Get a Blackberry cell for myself! ( A Big Deal! )

8. Meet John Cena , Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautener! ( So Sexy! )

9. Get a Dior perfume. ( No Money yet! )

10. Get a Beautiful watch for myself. ( Money money money! )

Now thats all I can remember for now, maybe I am missing few things out which I'll add later as it strikes my mind. That was what my Heart said at this instant, the beginning of a new year. The only thing I have gained this year is Love and few good Friends.

So all my readers I wish you all a very Happy New year which will brighten your life and fulfill all your dreams and wishes!

Have a Beautiful Life Ahead!