~ From the Vampire Diaries ~

Heyi Blush!
I have been out of town for quite a while so couldn't post anything in the past few days.
I do have a lot to write and I'll one by one but right now there is this moment from Vampire Diaries,
between Damon and Elena that somehow makes me feel connected to it, I wanted to share it here, with You.
The situation is, Damon realizes he loves Elena but he also knows Stefan, his brother is more appropriate for her. Elena just lost her necklace which saves her from being compelled by Vampires and Damon brings it back to her.


Damon : I brought You this.
Elena : I thought that was gone... Thank You.. !! ... 
            ( All into smiles and then Damon holds it back )
           Please give it back.
Damon : I just have to say something.
Elena : What do you have to say with my necklace?
            ( Thinking he might compel her )
Damon : Because what I am about to say is.. probably the most selfish thing I have ever said in my life.. !
Elena : Damon, don't go there.
Damon : I just have to say it once, You just need to hear it!
              I love You Elena! And it is because I love You that I can't be selfish with You.. 
              Why You can't know this... I don't deserve You .. but my brother does.
              God I wish You didn't have to regret this...! 
              But You do.
              ( Compels her to forget everything he said with a tear in his eye 
                 and puts back the necklace around her neck and goes away.)




There is something so special about the tear that Damon sheds,
the way he tells it all to Elena and then makes her forget that for her own sake,
the way he sacrifices his love for Elena's happiness
but deep within he knows Elena needs him too, to be happy, 
as a friend and he agrees to do that his entire life.
Its not a easy thing to do after what I have seen out of my life, its not.


Situations and choices complicate life like hell but You can't avoid them, You can't avoid life, You can't run away forever! You do hurt people You never want to because of these choices and it sucks!
Nothing could be worse than having to lose one person from your life in order to have another loved one with You. Having Someone on the cost of other. It is about priorities but the guilt never dies!

I wish life wasn't this complicated!!

~ .. And with this another year starts ~

31.12.2011


Dear Blush,


Today was the last day of year filled with lots of unexpected events..
I woke up and I decided I wont cry today, I just won't! The day started with the intake of bright, calm Sun ( No matter how much I tan, believe me this is something I can't get over with! ) along with some nice music! Then all of a sudden I decided to wash the balcony of my house and turned it into action. :P The cold water felt so good on my feet, then I decided to change my nail-paint for the new year! ;). I was sitting idly when a friend of mine called me up to see him if I could, he told me some other friends are coming too, one being Shreya ( A girl I hadn't seen since my 5th grade! ) and my Someone Special was also coming so I decided on asking my parents for seeing them and luckily they agreed! Met everyone and had a fun-filled time with them and then some time with my family. For me it was the end of the day but I had never even thought that the main event was yet to happen.. !


Mr. Special decided to get drunk and he did! He came near my place for some work and hurt his knee, never before in my life I felt so helpless, so bad for not being able to help him! Every time he said its hurting I could feel the pain within me! He acted funny and did lots of stupid things but also told me some things he felt, things I didn't know, things I hadn't thought of, things that made me happy, thing that made me feel special and things that made me cry. One fact that hurt me like anything was that I could not make him feel that I love him in the past 6 months ( How pathetic I am! ). And the other thing that almost killed me was him saying,'I'll go away from your life...' .. God.. ! I cried entire night, I did! I just can't imagine my life without him and he said he would go.. I could feel so much of pain inside me and my tears simply won't stop thinking what if he does that, what if he goes away..
And then another of my friend called me up, who too was drunk! My best friend! He called me, told me how good I am and he too said he would go away from me for my happiness. I was so so blank, I cried even more!


I just couldn't understand what is it with me that people I love think of leaving me, abandoning me for my happiness! How is that possible! People without whom I can't even imagine my life think of going away.
I mean is there some problem with me?! The more I want someone to stay, the more they think being away will keep me happy! No it can't, that will make me and my life miserable! Yes it will! Even if I have to beg You on my knees to stay, I am ready to do that, just please don't do that ever!
Baby I can't live without You, I can't! :(
And trust me I love You more than anyone else in this world, I do!
The place You hold in my heart is far too special, can't even define my feelings for You in words.
I might be bad, rude, stupid at times but trust me nothing matters more than your happiness to me, nothing!


Then the morning came and I decided not to discuss this with him, i wanted to make a new start, I wanted to make up for every wrong thing I have done, I wanted to love You even more and show You how special You are to me and I am following that! Despite everything I couldn't resist asking,'You won't leave me ever no?' and when I got a 'No, I won't ever!' in reply, no one could be happier than me! I felt like pulling You out of my phone and hugging You tight but 'I love You' said it all! :)
I have no resolutions this year, I will try to be a better person this year! :)

Love,
Me! :)

Happy New Year to all my readers! :)