Amidst my Loneliness,
today I decided to check out some more blogs on the site of my fellow bloggers
and there I found one of a guy with a beautiful post related to his Father ( Who is no more .. ).
It was like he had written a letter to his Father in which he told everything
he loved about him,
everything he felt around him
and
everything he is going to miss about him.
It was so heart-touching that I actually felt like crying after reading that.
It reminded me of my Father,
whom I love the most in the World
( Although I could never tell that to Him .. )
and I just can't imagine my life without Him
( Never.... ).
This is something I am most afraid of,
I can't even think in the deepest of my thought to have my life without Him,
even the thought pierces my Heart and I all of a sudden feel so uncomfortable as if my entire World goes blurred.
I am gladly ready to slap myself for bringing such gross thought in my mind.
Once when I was a kid my Father had fallen ill and he was having a terrible pain in His stomach.
I could hear Him cry in pain but then I had no idea what was happening to Him.
The time was something around 6 in the morning and a doctor had come to treat my Father.
I could see him taking out a syringe and an injection from his bag while I was hidden aside the door of the room in front of the room where my Father was lying.
And when he started putting the needle into my Father's body I hid my face in my hands and could see it no more.
I couldn't dare to look what was going on but in my mind I had a fear that something was serious.
I didn't dare to ask anyone what has happened instead I spent the entire time praying that my Papa would get well soon..
Then my Papa was taken to a hospital in a city nearby and I didn't even dare to go to the hospital for I knew I won't be able to see him in pain
and luckily
Thank You to God
my Papa returned home absolutely fine.
( And I breathed a sigh of relief! )
I can never forget that time
and neither the pain ..
I have always been very attached to my Papa,
he has been my Father as well as my Mother to me,
( I don't share much bond with my Mother.. )
He kept me like his princess always
and I am very thankful to Him for that.
Papa You are the one I aspire to be like,
a wonderful person.
I can never imagine a Human as perfect as You.
I have always wanted to make You proud of me,always
but
I will never forget those moments
when I was the reason behind the tears in your eyes,
when I was the reason behind your Pain,
when You said You couldn't be a good father to me,
when I hurt You so much and still couldn't do anything to make You feel better.
I can never ever forgive myself for that.
I know I have been a very bad child Papa but
I always wanted to make You proud of myself Papa.
I wish I could tell You how much I adore and love You
( Especially when You said I don't love You.. ),
I wish I could erase all those moments from our lives
and be your princess once again.
I know You have loved me the most and
I have just been the worse child to have..
I just have one regret,
only if You would have believed me then,
for once ..
maybe things won't be this way today.
I wish I could tell You about my dreams and
tell You how much effort I am putting in my studies just for You.
I wish to tell You so many things but I can't Papa,
I can't ..
I believe I'll make You feel how much I love You, someday,
I'll make You feel how Special You are to me,
and
I'll make You feel what a wonderful Father You are.
I miss all those childhood days with You,
going to the confectionery and getting chocolates,
sweets, toffees, cakes, pastries and what-not with you.
I miss those days when You used to cut my nails
and I still ask You to do that to just keep those days alive somewhere.
You are simply the Best Papa
and I am a a proud daughter
with a dream to make You a proud Father.
I wish to have You with me throughout my life and
I Love You.
Thank You God for such a wonderful Father and
Please help me make him Proud!
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