There is something so
wrong with me!
I just wonder am I so
hard to understand!?
Yes I am the type of
girl who spends most of her time in silence when there is something
depressing/scary going on within. Not that I don’t want to open up or irritate
people around me but I am not able to. I just need someone to cope up with my
silence and hold on. I know it isn’t easy at all. But I can’t just help it.
The moment you think I
am dumbly watching your face is the moment I am wondering deep within how can
someone be so perfect, so cute!
Well it apparently is
not meant for me and I’ll definitely try to deal with it.
I don’t like coming
back home at all!
The moment I enter
this place called ‘home’,
No one asks me how my
day was or if I want to rest or something,
The questions start,
why so early, why so late, why this, why that,
I mean what the
fuck!!
Why the hell can’t I expect
a normal reaction from people!
Why can’t people just
give me a moment to relax?
WHY!?
Just please for God’s
sake have some mercy on me,
God!
I am already so
fucking stressed about my career, my future, my exams,
I don’t fucking have
an idea as to what’ll I do if things go wrong
And instead of just
letting me calm down people go on shouting and blaming me!
Every single day I pray
to God to just get me the hell out of here as soon as possible.
No I can’t take it
anymore.
I don’t want to cry
to sleep every single night.
I don’t want to spend
my time in an unknown fear.
I don’t want to
create stupid dumb silences.
I don’t want to die
within every single moment fearing the unexpected.
I just don’t want
such a life!
I have to go and sit
in my closet to just gain some peace of mind,
To stop hearing those
annoying, shouting voices,
To stop hearing those
arguing, fighting voices outside,
To blink my tears
away,
To suppress that fear
within!
I don’t know what to
do,
I just didn’t want to
be home.. I didn’t..
It kills me here!
It hurts me here!
And there is no You
here..
And again I wonder
how hard is it to understand me.. !
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