~ Crossroads ~

22nd December, my birthday, as it got closer my hopes were up that this time it would be different, this time it would be all smiles no tears, this time it would be special..with You but it turned the other way around.

Still memorable but painfully memorable, I can't imagine anything worse for myself now.

The feeling I have right now, its like I have nothing more left to lose.

Guess people speak the truth when they say never make anyone your everything 'cause when they leave you are left with nothing.

I have never felt this lost before,

I don't know what to do, what to say, I just kill my time someway or the other.

I cry out of nowhere and even when I laugh, tears roll down my cheeks.

I try, I pretend that I am fine but the truth is I am not, I feel terrible inside, I feel hollow within and it pains, it hurts me but there is nothing I can do except learning to live with this pain and make a terrible attempt to find happiness.

My birthday is a lost cause and I wonder are promises made on bed limited to bed only?

Everything is a big fake, a big lie, all those promises especially. Why did you make them when you didn't intend on keeping them? Why did you put dreams in my eyes when all you wanted was to break them?

I don't know what it'll take for you to see the love I have for you, the sacrifices I willingly made and I would make in future, guess its all no worth to you, had it been I wouldn't be the person I am just 'cause you left me.

If I am the cause of unhappiness in your life I promise I'll walk away from you life and will never ever look back, nothing else matters more than your happiness, I wish it was the same other way around too but guess I am not that lucky.

The truth is, life without You is terrible, painful, I cry myself to sleep every single night but I guess that'll never matter to you.

You kicked me out, you hurt me in every possible way and still here I stand saying with tears in my eyes,

'I love you.. always did.. always will..'