Blush... :(

Once again its raining outside and it is raining inside too.

I have never ever felt this lonely before,

its all just adding to my pain, to the agony I feel..

So not good.

Every time it rains outside,

my heart weeps inside with those tears pouring down my eyes.

Nothing comforts,

Nothing Consoles,

Every thing appears to rip me apart.

Anxiety takes over and over again.

At times I wish to cry my heart out

but

tears refuse to come out

as if my eyes are tired shedding tears every now and then.

Things have drastically changed for me,

things that made me smile once force a tear out of my eye now,

renders me helpless,

depressed,

in pain.

 I lie on my bed

don't know when sleep takes over,

get up late night,

sit on the chair,

watching out of the window,

sometimes the artificial stars on the ceiling of my room,

or the rotating fan

and

silently cry..

Then watch the Sun coming to life again

with a realization

that

my tired eyes need to rest again

So get back to bed.

Back to sleep once again.

I have no idea what I am turning into and Why,

whatever it is, I hope comes to an end soon,

it seems unbearable now.

God.... :'(

~ All I need is... ~

Heyiii Blush

( I wish Someone would say the same to me too.. :( )

I hope You are fine baby unlike me.

These days all my time is occupied by a hectic schedule

including

college,

internship,

Doing assignments that please my Heart

and

Missing somethings very very badly.

My friends who once asked me to shut up and stop laughing now keep asking me

'What happened',

'Are you fine',

etc etc.

To which I just smile and say,

'Yes I am fine.'

Its something like nothing makes me want to smile these days.

I feel lost all the time.

Its not thoughts that make me feel lost,

it is some type of emptiness within and around which just keeps making me sad.

I feel uneasy with people around,

especially at my home'

I simply don't feel like coming back here.

My solitude comforts me.

I keep visiting the terrace of my college,

the gentle wind and undisturbed silence there makes me feel alive and better.

Its all so so weird and so not good.

I smile,

but only to assure my friends that I am fine,

its not from the Heart

( Its not the Akshay type... ).

I laugh,

when something is really funny

and I am very thankful to my friends for that.

I never felt this bad about the life I am in,

about the place I am forced to live,

about the surrounding

but right now

I feel sad about each and everything.

I wish at times that I would look around

and then

the Unexpected would happen

and I would just stay speechless, filled with joy,

but I know even that is not going to happen.

I look out of the Window

and I can feel my thoughts

drifting away

far away

to

the rain,

the terrace,

the evening,

the room,

those waiting eyes..

to everything related to You.

I knew it was going to be tough,

but never knew so tough...

God!

Please help me!

~ And the Countdown begins ~

Heyiii my Baby Blush!!

( Copied from Someone :P )

Hope You are fine Sweetheart!!

My day?

It was only ok-ok in college,

attending All the lectures and studying!

( Keeping up to the promise I made )

So today was the first day of my long waiting-waiting phase

and I guess it went fine.

( Maybe 'cause I was stuck on my phone the entire day :D )

And with this begins the most awaited countdown marking the arrival of Someone as soon as possible!

It is going to be really tough but well

I guess things will be fine,

 for Some people are always there for me. :)

Despite all these there were things I missed

When the clock stuck 12,

When it rained outside,

When I was walking alone to my home,

When there came the requirement of a cell,

When the street was empty outside my gate,

When there was no one to share a chocolate with,

When every moment marked the Absence of an integral part of my life...

I tried to Smile but my eyes couldn't hide the pain,

With so many people around I still feel alone,

The free lectures became my confrontation with loneliness,

With a hope in my mind that these days pass very soon.

For the first time ever I regret and hate the fact of 

not being able to get out of this place 'cause of a mistake I didn't commit,

a trust shattered into pieces.

I don't really wish to get back to that time again,

so for now I chose to concentrate on my future and present,

making the best out of Both!

With a hope in my mind 

that the countdown will get over very soon,

I bid my Adieu.

Will be back very soon Blush!

I miss You Babieeee!

Time to stay strong.. !

~ 4 days to live your life ~

Heyiii Blush!!

How are You Sweetheart??

( Blush reminds me of something else too.. :D )

I did miss You Baby 

but past four days were simply the Best days of my life!

So I decided to devote each and every moment making it perfect! :)

( BEST! )

So what exactly did I do in these past 4 days?

I just lived my life,

followed my Heart,

Did every crazy thing possible,

Put my fears aside,

( Tried my Best too :D )

Made some serious plans for Our Future,

Made some Promises,

Took a vow,

Enjoyed doing nothing,

Experienced the Unexpected,

Developed a new habit

( And got praised for that :D ),

Experienced goosebumps and chills,

Took risks,

Let the World go,

Discovered the Deep Love hidden in my Heart,

Watched people I love the most laugh together

( And those moments were so so Blissful! ),

Had lots of Chocolates

( The most Special ones! ),

Got to know a lot about myself

( After Some trustworthy analysis :P ),

Enjoyed the Nature,

Got some wishes fulfilled,

Learnt some Hindi :P,

Experienced the Beauty and strength of Silence talks,

Had some amazing and most Beautiful moments of my Life,

Enjoyed being Silly,

Read the look in the Eyes

( Truly amazing! ),

Discovered how hot I am!

( As in my body temperature :P )

Experiences moments that words couldn't define,

Watched time and meetings fell short...

This list here is going to keep on extending and extending 

for Everything can't be described in terms of words. :)

God!

I have no words to thank You for all those wonderful moments You gave me,

Just give me some Patience now to Wait and fulfill my Vow very soon.

Life can actually be so beautiful!

It is not only in the movies.

Wow!

I promise I'll wait. 

I wish these moments come back again in my life very very soon.

Thank You God for Everything!!

Thank You God for the day!!

I will never ever forget this day, never.