I just don't know how lonely could I possible get!?

I feel so lonely even when I am surrounded with a number of people I just feel so lonely within, you are the only thought on my mind and I simply can't help it.

Well the truth is it never was a fling since the first time I held your hand to the last time I fed you your lunch, it was way too special, always have been!

I just don't know what happened to me that day when I looked into your eyes looking for a answer, an assurance that you would never leave me alone, I trusted you blindly and decided that very moment to spend the rest of my life with you.

Even though it was a teenage love as people would say but for me it was my life, I gave everything to this relationship, to you without questioning without doubting and asked you for just one thing, You.. with me.. always!

Was it that hard baby?

Couldn't you stay for me ..?

... And I don't know why I felt differently today hearing You say that!

Maybe its the start of a new journey.

Looking forward to happiness.

:)

~ Crossroads ~

22nd December, my birthday, as it got closer my hopes were up that this time it would be different, this time it would be all smiles no tears, this time it would be special..with You but it turned the other way around.

Still memorable but painfully memorable, I can't imagine anything worse for myself now.

The feeling I have right now, its like I have nothing more left to lose.

Guess people speak the truth when they say never make anyone your everything 'cause when they leave you are left with nothing.

I have never felt this lost before,

I don't know what to do, what to say, I just kill my time someway or the other.

I cry out of nowhere and even when I laugh, tears roll down my cheeks.

I try, I pretend that I am fine but the truth is I am not, I feel terrible inside, I feel hollow within and it pains, it hurts me but there is nothing I can do except learning to live with this pain and make a terrible attempt to find happiness.

My birthday is a lost cause and I wonder are promises made on bed limited to bed only?

Everything is a big fake, a big lie, all those promises especially. Why did you make them when you didn't intend on keeping them? Why did you put dreams in my eyes when all you wanted was to break them?

I don't know what it'll take for you to see the love I have for you, the sacrifices I willingly made and I would make in future, guess its all no worth to you, had it been I wouldn't be the person I am just 'cause you left me.

If I am the cause of unhappiness in your life I promise I'll walk away from you life and will never ever look back, nothing else matters more than your happiness, I wish it was the same other way around too but guess I am not that lucky.

The truth is, life without You is terrible, painful, I cry myself to sleep every single night but I guess that'll never matter to you.

You kicked me out, you hurt me in every possible way and still here I stand saying with tears in my eyes,

'I love you.. always did.. always will..'

... And he looked deep in to my eyes, I could feel his breath on my face, I could see a pain, an agony in his eyes as he said, 'Wait for me.. Will you!?'

I stared at him spell-bounded, all I could see and all I could feel was him and the fact that he was going away made it even more hard for me. I wanted to speak 'Yes I will!' but I couldn't utter a word, I just kept looking at him and nodded my head and he knew I would, so did I!

That day, that incident changed my life forever,

I got to know it would be him or no one else now and still it'll be you or no one else.

Being away from you can't stop me from loving you .. I'll wait ..